Wendy Bartlett Explains How to Learn to be Confident and Charismatic on Camera

July 19, 2021
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In today’s episode, we have Wendy Bartlett who is going to speak on how to have both confidence and charisma on camera.

You will also get to hear how she was able to use her data analyzing skills to learn the repeating processes corporate executives use to speak to their clientele, how to convey competence when talking or teaching, and what charisma killers are and how to avoid them.

Website: speakwithwonder.com
Facebook: speakwithwonder
Instagram: @speakwithwonder

Notes

In this episode, you will hear...

… Wendy’s story before she became a professional in camera confidence. 

… how Wendy transitioned from the corporate world into her own business.

… how to have both confidence and charisma on camera.

… how Wendy used her data analyzing skills to learn the repeating processes corporate executives use to speak to their clientele.

… how to convey capability and competence when talking or teaching.

… what charisma killers are and how to avoid them. 

… how Wendy found effective formulas and processes that people use for charisma.

… the difference between confidence and charisma, and how to successfully achieve both. 

… Wendy’s surprising tip on how to gain more confidence so that it shows through your online course videos. 

… practical ways you can be more charismatic as an online course creator. 

… how the way you dress can affect the way others perceive you. 

… Wendy’s number one tip to anyone wanting to succeed as a course creator.

Resources

Transcript

Jeremy Deighan
Hey, what's up, everyone? Thanks for checking out the podcast today. We have Wendy Bartlett with us from Speak with Wonder. And she is going to just give us some great nuggets of information on how to just have better confidence and charisma on camera. And I'm excited to have you on the show today. How are you doing, Wendy?

Wendy Bartlett
I'm doing well. Thanks for having me, Jeremy.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, I'm excited that you reached out to be on the show. This is such a great topic. I know a lot of people struggle with that confidence. They struggle with getting on camera, you know, what it is that they should do? How should they look, you know? How can they present themselves in a way that's engaging for the students?

And I think this will be a great episode. But let's start at the beginning. How did you get into this business? Maybe what were you doing before you got into being a professional camera confidence person? And then how did you get into this world?

Wendy Bartlett
Thanks. It's been a long journey to get here, about 40 years of experience that I bring to the table for what it takes to be charismatic. Charisma is a bit of a mystery to a lot of people. And there's a lot to unpack to get it right. So I started my journey getting here by performing for 20 years in my younger years of life. And then, around my mid-20s, when I graduated college, I got into corporate jobs.

And I ended up working in a lot of different Fortune 500 Board Rooms, where I got to observe exquisite executives and titans of the industry doing things in fabulous ways like I had never seen anyone do before. And it mesmerized me that they all seem to have this down pat. And they all were able to come up with the perfect thing to say so quickly. They were so good at thinking on their feet. And that was really the opposite of performance that I had known.

Because performance for the stage dance recitals, kicklines, different plays I was in, you know, musicals, that stuff is all about doing things in a prepared way, in a practiced way so that it ends up being a performance. And so when I got to the corporate world and saw these exquisite executives able to do this on the fly, I just had to know what their secrets were. And so I asked them.

And for 20 years of being in and around those executives and being in and around corporate boardrooms, I took a lot of notes of what types of questions people asked and what type of sentences and their structures that people would say that got them the results they wanted.

So they were able to make people jump and jump higher. And they were able to make people turn magnetically towards them and just say "yes" to anything and everything they asked for. And I was like, "What is this magic? It's crazy." Right?

So I took those 20 years of boardroom notes. And I did a lot of massaging of the data. And I found that there are an easy 108 repeating processes that all of these executives used in a way to make sure that their brain was coming up with the right thing to say. And their bodies were communicating it in a way that people would be exceptionally receptive to them.

So I made it into a dice game. So I play a lot of games with people so that we can do the learning. And so it's been 40 years of understanding practice and performance and public speaking. And then, you know, 20 years of getting under the covers of understanding what charisma actually is.

So I baked them into a bunch of there's actually more than 23,000 different charisma formulas. And I put them into my business as a way to give these to other people because it's no good if we can't transfer it to someone else, right? So I made up little packages so I can give it.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, awesome. So we definitely want to unpack all of those different formulas and talk about these processes that you've learned. And I definitely want to hear about this dice game that you came up with.

So how did you transition from the corporate world into your own business? Did you leave the corporate world and then decide that you were going to go out on your own? Or what did that look like?

Wendy Bartlett
That's a great question. The truth is, I started my business part-time before I even went corporate. I did not have children, you see. So I had time to run a part-time business while I was working. And I ended up being lucky enough to work for some very exquisite VPs that went on to become CEOs of Fortune 100 corporations. I got to work with candidates that were running for office, and helping them prepare their speeches, and prepare their talks for the media and prepare themselves for camera.

And then, I met a bunch of comedians, and I was able to help them prepare their craft for the stage. So I started my business in a part-time fashion, just helping people who came along my path. So when I left corporate, I retired from the corporate world at age 41. I left corporate already with a business running part-time. And so I just turned the volume up and went full time.

Jeremy Deighan
That's totally awesome. So that's good to hear you already had something in place. And then you had this transition, where you could really just focus on this and help even more people.

Wendy Bartlett
Yeah, now it's fun because I get to kind of pick more of whom I'd like to help rather than just waiting for someone to come across my path as I used to before. I mean, before, I used to just work with whoever was knocking, you know?

Now in this day and age where we can all go out in the world together and find anyone and connect with them right on platforms like Facebook and wherever else, you know? It's possible to work with exactly whom you love working with. So I just keep going in that direction. I like working with solopreneurs.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, that's great. You get that one-on-one connection. You really get to understand them and their business and help them, you know, grow and do these things that you're speaking about.

So yeah, I definitely want to talk about these processes these formulas. But you got to tell me about the dice game first. What was that? What did it look like? And how did it work?

Wendy Bartlett
Well, they're both the same thing. They're one and the same, actually. Because what I did is I took the 23,000 formulas that people use for charisma. And I boiled it down to the top-level ones that are the most common repeaters and the most applicable in most situations.

And what I did is I chunked it down into the different segments and structures that people need to understand to make something happen. So, for instance, one of the dice is about understanding in and of itself. So when we understand something, we know what it is. We know what it's not. And we know how it changes.

So just repeatedly looking over something and understanding what is this, what is it not, how does it change brings us to a point of understanding. So one of the formulas for understanding charisma and understanding how to work with someone else is on a dice game, where the dice rolls out and just asks you to come up with, in a playful way, what is it that you're talking about? What is it that you're not talking about? How does what you're talking about change over time? And just exploring those questions mentally give you a better preparedness to speak about it.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, I really like that. We always think about what we're going to explain to people, but we never take a moment to talk about what we don't want to talk about. That's a really cool thing to think about because it can really help you fine-tune your message and what you're trying to convey to that person.

Wendy Bartlett
Yeah. I mean, there's a way that I love to steer people into the road. So we talk about what things are and what they do want to go forward saying, right? And I steer them into the road. But it is like you said, it's important to know where the curve is, what not to hit, right?

So if someone's going out there and saying that they do websites, and they don't want to talk about the content or a web page or a landing page or use some of the common terminology in that wheelhouse, then they're going to have to come up with a way that they don't address it, right?

So there are just some things that they want to leave behind or off the table. You know, you're talking about something it's pre-recorded like this is, you mention stuff that's evergreen, rather than something that's date-specific.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah. And it seems like it would really narrow down that focus so that when someone is interacting with you, watching you, or reading what you have to say, they know that you're talking directly to them, right?

Wendy Bartlett
Yes, I like to have to gear up my people's intentions to speak with people. That's why my business is called Speak with Wonder. I want people to speak with someone, not even to them, not even at them, right? With them.

You know, in today's day and age, we talk to a screen, we talked to a phone, we're talking to an empty room in our real physicality. The way it transfers to others is by device. So those devices have that moment where someone else picks it up when it's their convenient time to have it.

So what we have is a delay from when we deliver to when we get feedback. So the communications model has stretched and skewed, and it's given ourselves the opportunity to have time-space elapsed between when we deliver and when we know; how did that go?

Jeremy Deighan
Oh, that's lovely. That's great. So, you've got these 23,000 formulas. From those 23,000, that's when you've narrowed it down to the 108 repeating processes?

Wendy Bartlett
Yes.

Jeremy Deighan
Okay. And these formulas and processes, how did you find those? Like, I mean, I don't imagine that all of these executives know what they're doing all the time.

Am I wrong about that? Were they aware of what they were doing? Had they studied this? Or were these things that they were doing naturally, and you were able to decipher that?

Wendy Bartlett
That's a magic good question there, Jeremy. The bottom line is that they all had a clue about what they were doing. And all of them had one thing in common. They all had a written down thinking process that they follow. So where you and I might come up with thinking thoughts, we just sit and think, right? We just let the noodle go to town, right? We throw some sauce on our noodles.

These executives had written patterns for what they knew they needed to plug into their communication. Now some of them would share that with me what their thinking process was, and others wouldn't.

So the way I got to understand the way good decisions were being made for businesses, is by following the conversations. Because I was lucky enough to be able to facilitate a lot of boardroom meetings, and be a fly on the wall. I was the report expert that could explain the data in the reports.

So being that fly on the wall, I would listen to some conversations where I didn't even know what they were talking about. You know, I've jumped so many industries, I was like, "What are they even doing?" But what I did is instead of writing notes about what someone said, I used to write down what question are they answering.

And that's where the magic was. Is that instead of writing down all these random 50,000 different sentences or statements that might come out in a day, I was finding common questions that always need to be answered before a business can make a good decision to move forward.

Jeremy Deighan
Wow, well, that's awesome. That's powerful. And it's great that you were able to use your experience in your data set to be able to figure those things out over time and then compile them in a way that you can now use to help others.

So talking about these 108 different repeating processes. Can you just give us maybe one or two examples of what some of those would look like?

Wendy Bartlett
Well, I'll share with you one, some of the simplest ones. I like sharing this one because it's fairly universal. And people see its application fairly quickly. So one of the equations that we use is understanding, right? Understanding is what it is, what it's not, and how it changes over time. Is understanding what the difference is between confidence and charisma.

Confidence is a solo dance, and charisma is a partner dance. So what we do here is we equate what we're doing to having an exchange or having a routine or having something that has a start and a stop, like a song. And these moves that we make within our own mind talking to ourselves help determine our intentions, our confidence level, and how we come across.

And when we're working with someone else in a conversation, that's our opportunity to lead the dance in some ways and/or follow their lead in a dance in some ways. So when we understand at the fundamental level of the formula that what we're doing in confidence is just with ourselves.

And when we're doing stuff with charisma, it's with another person. We're already identifying some of the values that get plugged into the formulas in understanding how this stuff becomes magically used to make yourself magnetic.

Jeremy Deighan
Nice, nice. Okay. So, thinking about a course creator in that terminology. If I'm creating a course, and I'm thinking about the student, and maybe I'm struggling with being on camera. Does that mean that I would want to think more about having charisma on camera because there's someone on the other end of that camera?

Wendy Bartlett
The thing that he wants to have when you're doing a pre-recorded, okay, this is pre-recorded stuff, this is not extemporaneous. This is not Go Lives. Go Lives, and extemporaneous off-the-top-of-the-mind speech is different.

Jeremy Deighan
Okay.

Wendy Bartlett
When we're doing something that is recorded, we want to have it down to a very succinctness, right? We want to get boiled down where we've gotten rid of all the fluff that they don't need to hear. And it only includes what they do need to hear.

So that's going back through the equation of understanding what it is, what it's not, and how it changes. The level of confidence you have to bring to a recorded video, or a Go Live. Any camera lens is just enough so that they understand you are competent.

It's competence that you need to convey. And this comes across in confidence, when our voice is clear when what we're saying is succinct, when our postures are sitting upright, and when we're looking at the camera at the right height.

Jeremy Deighan
So what about the person who is not naturally confident who really struggles with this type of stuff, and they know that they want to get on camera and they're struggling? What is some advice that you would give to that person to get started down this road?

Wendy Bartlett
I know this is gonna sound absolutely crazy, Jeremy. But that's kind of my style. And I know this is one of the most effective game-changers for anyone that needs to change how confident they feel. People need to change the way they shower. I said that it's out loud. Okay.

Jeremy Deighan
I would love to hear this.

Wendy Bartlett
All right. So you have kids, right, Jeremy?

Jeremy Deighan
That's correct.

Wendy Bartlett
Think about the way you bathe a baby. You sing to it, you make sure you tickle its tummy, you make sure the baby's laughing and comfortable, and the water feels so good. And you're gentle about the way you clean their skin and move them around, right?

Jeremy Deighan
Mhm.

Wendy Bartlett
And then something happens, and we graduate high school, we get into the world. And we're taking like three-minute showers where we're scrubbing ourselves with a thing on the back, and it gets the shampoo out of my hair. And I'm like, "Am I going to be late for work?" And yeah, I kind of got that crack behind my knee. That's pretty good. Let's go.

We go from this wonderful nurturing way that we are bathed to all of a sudden just taking this like shower to be done with it. And that's how we're treating ourselves. And it's really not a good way to treat yourself especially if you want to boost confidence.

If you want to boost confidence, there has to be a way that you understand your royalty in your own mind. That's not to say you have to be pompous. But you have to understand how you are the king of your own castle or the queen of your own land.

And when you treat yourself really well from a shower routine, you know, really singing to the toes that you love them. And looking yourself in the mirror when you're done. Eye to eye contact with yourself in the mirror and saying, "I love you." And you mean it. Confidence starts to change.

Jeremy Deighan
Wow, that is absolutely powerful. It is a great technique to think about the way that someone can grow that confidence. And, you know, how many times have you, for a guy, shaved in the mirror and you don't look at yourself, you know? You're just kind of like you said, getting through the motions and not taking that time to really, you know, think about those things.

Wendy Bartlett
And it's the daily habits, right? Everyone knows out there that business success really comes from those daily habits. If your daily habit of how you clean yourself and treat yourself and feed yourself and talk to yourself. That's the big one. If those aren't going in an upward spiral, neither will the confidence because why should it? It's not being fed.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, this is something I've been trying to feed my mind over the past five or six years now since I got into online business. Because I never thought about this stuff. And one of my favorite motivational speakers is Zig Ziglar.

And one thing that he says all the time is the most important conversation you will ever have is the one that you have with yourself. And so to constantly be telling yourself positive affirmations, and reinforcing those things, do you also agree with that?

Wendy Bartlett
Oh, absolutely. It's beyond even the affirmations and short little sentences. It's when you finish something, do you immediately reward yourself for what you just accomplished or did?

A lot of people don't celebrate their successes. So they'll finish something, and they'll go, "Alright, good. Now that that's over, I can move on to something else." Which basically means you're just a checklist do-er.

You know, your mind knows how you treat yourself. If you walk away from one task and say, "You did a better job with that today than yesterday, look at you go. Go on to that next task." You'll tackle that next task with a different mindset.

Jeremy Deighan
You're hitting me in the heartstrings, right here. Because I'm going through that right now, as we talk, you know? I've batched these podcast recordings, and I've done a handful of them today.

Never once stopping to think about what a great success it was that I got to talk to that person for an hour, that I got to share their message, that it went off without a hitch. It's like you said, just checking tasks, "Okay, I got this one done, I gotta move to the next one, move to the next one, move to the next one."

So, that is some great, great insight. You mentioned that there are some things that can wreck charisma that can really hinder you. You had a word for it.

So can you talk about that? What are the things that can really hinder your charisma when you're speaking or presenting?

Wendy Bartlett
Yeah, and I'll mean this to be really specifically on camera at this point. But there are definitely charisma killers. And when we don't get certain things done correctly, the camera translates us in a way we probably did not intend.

So you happen to be really good at the number one rule. I don't know if you even know this because I watched your Go Live today even. And I thought, "Gosh, he's so aware of that." The one thing that you do really well is you give your audience two white dots to follow.

And what I mean by that is, whenever our eyes are on camera, our eyes being the little twinkle twins that they are, in between the inside dark black pupil part, right? And the colored Iris part, there's a little tiny white reflective dot that reflects the top light in the room, the dominating light.

And you'll see these actually if you go look at cereal boxes, even on cereal boxes, the way they sell cereal, they show the eyes that are not just, you know, the whites of people's eyes, then the iris then the pupil right? In between, there, usually at an angle, is these two little white dots that reflect light.

And when those are missing, people tend to look a little tired or untrustworthy or a little bit like a zombie. So charisma killers are not having the two white dots on your eyes. You do a good job of that one, by the way.

Jeremy Deighan
Awesome. Thank you. It's crazy to talk about because I took drawing when I was going through college, and they taught you to draw this. I never even knew that that was a thing until I had to sit down one day and start drawing those, and it brings to life the drawing. It really does amplify it.

Wendy Bartlett
It does. Yeah, it's what people look for when we say like, "his twinkling eyes," you know, "her twinkling eyes." It's the way your eyes are catching the dominant light of the room.

So you could have light that's shining directly on your eyes. But if it's not the brightest, most dominant light, your eyes will still fall flat. And we see this sometimes in other people. You can see that white dot in the form of a little ring. And you can tell who's using a ring light. The ring shows up as a ring light right there. So that's the white dot I'm talking about.

Jeremy Deighan
And what are some other charisma killers that can really hinder someone from just presenting on camera better?

Wendy Bartlett
I have a little charisma club where I work with my clients, and I tell them a few no-no's, right? This is where we say what something is, what it's not, and how it changes. One of the things not to do is we don't show people our ceiling.

When you're in a room, and you're on camera, a lot of us just flip open the laptop. And the laptop is not at a very good flattering angle for most of us. And it usually shoots up towards us and catches a ceiling in the shot behind us.

So what you're looking for is when you're looking at what's being captured in the frame, make sure you don't put a ceiling there. Mentally people see that, and they see there's a human in a box. And people don't like people to be trapped in boxes.

And when you're giving a ceiling right to them the whole time you're in a video, that whole time you're in the video, there's a small angst part that builds in your audience over time, it gets worse and worse, that they're like "This person has to get out of there."

So there's a way that you can drive your audience away from you with those charisma killers, by not having the two white dots, by showing that ceiling up behind us. And of course, the number three one I always try to share with everyone is don't let the camera go up the nose. Yeah, people don't like to look up other people's noses. It's like they're being talked down to, so yeah.

Jeremy Deighan
Yeah, I want to hit on all these. And it's funny, you said that, because you talked about camera angle, and I wrote that down. So we'll get to that one. I want to go back to the boxing. I think that's really cool.

Because I think there are some subconscious things that are going on when you watch someone, and you might not be aware that like no one probably says to themselves, "Oh, I can't believe they're looking at this, I can see the ceiling." But subconsciously, it makes a lot of sense of what you're saying.

So would you say the opposite is true that if you can get a chance to maybe film outside, film in a park, film at the beach, that that would be more charismatic?

Wendy Bartlett
Oh, that's such a great question, Jeremy. Because the answer seems like it would be yes, and it's not. There's a degree by which everyone has to understand who they are to a camera. And some people can pull off being the center of attention in front of something as tempting to look at, like a beach.

So if you just need to be heard and not seen, then that can work, right? So this is about who you are and what you're trying to accomplish. Most people are going to be bound to look at beautiful crashing waves and outdoor scenery, and then a bird flies by.

Being outside is gorgeous on camera. But it kind of helps to be even just surrounded by greenery or something that is stagnant where you're the person that shines. What is coming through and across that lens that's dazzling them is you, not the scene.

Jeremy Deighan
Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You can distract them with that background if there's too much going on there. And then you talked about the camera angle. We discussed this a little bit.

But you know, the common thing is to have your laptop, you set it on your desk, and people are unaware that they're looking at the camera, and they think that they're at eye level, but they're not.

The camera is below their eye level. You're getting the ceiling, you're looking up their nose, you know, you might have the double chin. As I get older, I'm noticing I'm starting to get a little double chin going on.

So, you would say camera angle is important, definitely from it being lower pointing up at you. What about the people who have the little webcam, and it sits on top looking down? What do you think about that?

Wendy Bartlett
Well, here's the thing about that, there's the angle of the camera, and there's the height of the camera, and they kind of play together. So what you want to do is understand what you're trying to convey in each message and have your position match what your message is conveying.

If you're giving information to someone, like you're giving them directions, like telling them how to do something, you want to look straight at the camera lens. So you want to have the lens straight at your eye level so that you are looking at the camera in a position where you don't have to tilt your head up or down to get your eyes to meet the lens.

But it's different if you are working in service of someone. When I work with my clients, I'm working in service to my clients. I don't speak directly at the camera lens because it's similar to talking at someone. I raise my camera height, so I am looking just a slight tinge up at the camera.

If you are in service and you are looking up at the camera, that's a matchy-matchy scenario. So you're going for matchy matchy, right? Being looking straight at the camera is like, "Here, this is the info turn left, go two miles turn, right." Okay? And when I'm saying, "What I'd like you to do, Jeremy, is this." I will make those requests looking slightly up at the camera.

Jeremy Deighan
That makes total sense because I don't know if I'm saying this correctly. But from a psychological standpoint, it's almost like you're giving the viewer a little more authority over you. They're slightly raised looking down on you. You're in service as more of a helper or servant.

Wendy Bartlett
Well, yeah. That's the way it works for me, and my messaging and my clients is I definitely let them drive the content I serve. So since I'm in service to them, I picture them like as if we were in an office together. If they stopped by my desk or my office, they were walking in the room. They are naturally higher than my eye level if I'm sitting.

And so sitting is kind of that work mode, right? When we're sitting, we're working on something. And when we're doing delivery of course material, it can work to sit or stand. But the point is that if you're trying to serve someone and serve them well, they will have an easier time listening to you for longer periods of time If you look up at them.

Jeremy Deighan
That's awesome. That's totally cool. I love this stuff. This is so cool to talk about. So let's pivot a little bit, and I just want to ask you a couple more questions here before we have to sign off.

How do you feel about, we talked a little bit about the background, you know, your walls, and maybe being outside and making sure something's static so that they can see. We talked about the camera angle.

What about dress, how you actually look, your hair, your clothes, and those sorts of things?

Wendy Bartlett
The variety bag has widened on what is appropriate for business settings, right? I talk in the business space, right? I'm not talking about being on camera to catch a date. When you're on camera, basically, what you want to do is present yourself in a way that they will, number one, recognize you.

So if you have, you know, hair like me, I have so much hair, it's crazy. One week, I showed up on video with my hair up, and people were like, "Who the heck is on Wendy's GoLive? Why is she, oh, it's Wendy. Oh, look, she looks so polished," right? So I generally have a fun way that I engage with my people, we play games, and so my hair is usually down.

So there's something about the consistency of yourself and showing up that matters a little bit more than whether or not you look great or not great. You could wear a paper bag and convey a fabulous message. At the same time, you have to go with what's appropriate for your brand and how you want your audience to feel.

So if you want them to know that you bothered to gussy up for them, then gussy up. And if you want them to know that you're just meeting them authentically while you're in the middle of your way to the store, then that's how you look. So your message is really tied to the appearance.

Jeremy Deighan
Okay, that's cool. And I want to use, you know, maybe myself as a personal example, because I've thought about this before, these are the kinds of weird things you think about when you're sitting all day by yourself in front of the computer.

Whenever I am doing a Facebook Live, like, say, the one you saw earlier today, I'm generally dressed as I normally would dress. Which, you know, I come from Florida, I'm a beach guy, you know, I wear t-shirts and graphics and stuff like that. Maybe every now and then, a button-down shirt. But generally, I'm wearing, you know, flip-flops and shorts and a t-shirt.

And so when I feel like I'm doing a live, I feel like I'm talking more personally to people. It's more of a, you know, intimate conversation. But then when I do a webinar, or I'm doing some kind of live training, where I know that I'm really trying to get my point across and look professional, I'll put on a nice shirt, maybe a jacket or something like that.

How do you feel about that? Do you feel like you should maintain the same look all the time like I should always be dressed up or always be dressed down? Or do you think what I'm doing would be okay?

Wendy Bartlett
Oh, it sounds great what you're doing. There's definitely a way that you dress for an occasion out there in the world. And the same applies to camera. As a matter of fact, on pre-recorded videos and things that are formal training events and things where you actually need people to do something different, right? Where you're going to be making an ask, or you're going to be giving a tell, or you're going to be seen as the authority.

Gary Vee can pull off wearing that crazy hat that he does, right? That's Gary Vee's brand. You see, he's made it part of his iconic way of being viewed, and people say yes to it. So as long as your people are saying yes to it, it works. Now, if you got too gussied up, right? And it doesn't match your communication style, then it kind of breaks.

So what you want to go for is the bend. It works like comedy, right? Comedy, if it bends, it's funny, and you don't want it to break. And the same thing goes with your dress. You don't want to be wearing a tux talking about how to plant tomatoes.

Jeremy Deighan
Right, right. Awesome. Yeah, like that. That's a good analogy. Yeah. Okay, cool. So, man, this has just been really great. And I just love all this advice. I could definitely talk about this stuff for a long time. Because to me, I start thinking about all the psychological things that are going on. And all the body responses that are happening behind the scenes.

But just thinking about, you know, the people out there who really struggle with being on camera. Maybe they want to try it, but they're having a really hard time, and they're trying to break past that barrier.

What is your one piece of advice that you could give to that person today to start practicing the things you've been talking about?

Wendy Bartlett
First off, you've got to give it validity. There's always a valid reason why someone's thinking or feeling that way. So you've got to give yourself your own past to say, "And I'm allowed to not want to do this." And that gives yourself a way of saying, "I'm a good person." So you're not chastising yourself overdoing it or not doing it, right? So chastising has no room in your life, right? We're going to talk to ourselves so nicely. We end up confident.

And the other thing to do is to find the right space-time for practice. Because just going on to start a live video and getting off, right? I have a whole week-long thing that I do with my charisma club. We spend one whole week on just entrances and exits. There are so many parts and pieces involved in getting a video really superb.

You just want to work on one little part at a time. For some of us, it's getting on. For some of us, it's getting off. For some of us, it's all of the talky part in the middle. For some of us, we're talking without gestures. Some of us are frozen and standing still too long, right?

So there are so many parts and pieces to work on. Just recognize you can only do one of them at a time when you're working on making changes that stick.

Jeremy Deighan
I like that. That is a great, wonderful answer. And, Wendy, it's been such a pleasure. You said you've been doing this for a long time. You obviously know your stuff. And it's been great communicating with you today.

And just looking at your business in the future in the next couple of years, five years, ten years down the road. What are you trying to accomplish? What is it that you would like to do with your own personal business?

Wendy Bartlett
Well, I'm on a mission to share my toys. You know, I have the dice games, and I have a lot of other widgets and toys and games and puzzles and things that I've put together that allows people to learn this stuff, without all of the complicated thinking and feeling parts that usually go into communication. So we practice in a safe space.

So more sharing of my toys will be coming down the road. I used to have them sized for big ballroom audiences when I had leadership off-sight, and now I had to make them fit a camera lens. So I've gotten them all translated over.

The vision that I have for my business is so we may understand each other. So in that level of trying to understand each other, I want us to get some of the communication parts down pat, in a sequence where we can make improvements because we can only improve what we can repeat. So I'm looking forward to a lot of repetitive game playing with my toys, Wonder Dice.

Jeremy Deighan
I love it. I love it. I'm glad that you found a way to gamify these philosophies that you have and make it entertaining and fun for people. Maybe you know, down the road, a year from now, we can get you back on the show. And we can talk more about that aspect and how everything's going.

But in the meantime, if people are interested in you and what they've heard today on this podcast, where can they go to find more about you online?

Wendy Bartlett
Oh, thanks, Jeremy. They can go to Wendy Bartlett, the Facebook profile. I always love getting personal private messages. A lot of people don't like learning this stuff in front of other people. And that's why my Speak Boutiques go one-on-one so they can just message me directly.

I also have a Facebook group called Charisma on Camera for Wonderful You. That's just starting to launch. And they can go there too if they'd like. But a message works great.

Jeremy Deighan
Perfect. Well, we will make sure that we link those up in the show notes. And with that, I just want to say thank you so much for coming on today and reaching out to be on the show.

It's been a pleasure just having you and getting to talk to you about this stuff. And I just hope that you get the most success in the future.

Wendy Bartlett
Oh, Jeremy, you're so wonderful at interviewing. I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

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